Tonight I’m going to get a little bit on BBW and BHM their self worth for a moment. This is a personal subject for me and I strive very hard to keep away from very personal issues on my blog for quite some time now. It is no surprise to me that a lot of women in general have low self esteem and insecurities, so therefore it’s of no surprise that BBW have even more insecurities than thinner women.
- What is it about people that they have to sleep around with as many people as possible and just not be happy with themselves?
- Are people really valuing their self-worth and appeal to the opposite sex by how many notches are on the bedpost?
- Why is it that women especially, knowingly sleep with men that are involved with other women?
- Why are women so willing to stab each other in the back for the sake of getting some dick? Is it because of having deep feelings for that person?
- Why do women measure their self worth by having sex with every tom, dick and harry? I know for me personally, the only reason I was involved with a person who had a significant other was because of being in love with that person and stupidly wishing for something to come out of it.
- Why is it that pseudo-swingers* have no morals, consideration and respect for someone else’s feelings for a person?
I also have a couple of questions for the men and I really want some answers about this if possible.
- When it comes to falling in love or being in love, does the woman have to evoke this instantaneous, earth-shaking, heavens opening up, euphoric event that happens immediately for you to decide that you fall head over heels for them?
- Is telling a woman that you care for her very deeply the kiss of death? Does that mean that he’s just not in love with you and never will be?
- Do men even know what being in love is? OR does it happen that after that first initial heated physical attraction that pulls a man in there is more substance that a man adores and falls in love with?
- What happens if a man never experiences that?
- What happens if a man is clueless to what they are experiencing and miss the queues that say hey… this one could be special?
- What if a man never allows a woman to get close enough to him for him to develop any stronger feelings for her? Is it any wonder then that he doesn’t experience that feeling??
- I have had many men who were interested in me in the past explain to me that when a man is very much into a woman that the sexual arousal is uncontrollable. Does that mean that he is only very into her sexually, or does that arousal come from him being stimulated emotionally by something else inside of him that causes him to feel that?
Finally I ask that if you are going to answer any of these questions please have consideration that I am asking questions that are personally relevant to me at this time and while you can be honest, please don’t be brutal in your responses.
*pseudo-swingers- I mean people who just label themselves as swingers and don’t really follow the standards and ethics of the swinger community. These are people who stray outside of their main relationships because of being discontent, looking for something else whatever.
August 6th, 2008 at 9:51 am
I don’t have all the answers and I could go on all day about some of your topics… but the one I fell I need to chime in on is number 6 of the top section. Swingers do have morals, I am a swinger and I consider myself extrmely moral in many ways. Yes, by the standards of many I am not… but that’s because I am sexually open and get naked on the internet… lol. I do not, have not, will not sleep with/fool around with or do anything with someone who is in a relationship and cheating. I do not hurt others, and I live a very morally just life in that manner. I’m not sure what you meant by “swingers have no morals… consideration” etc, but I don’t feel like that statement could possibly apply to me and I would consider myself a swinger. I’d love to hear you ellaborate on what made you say that, if you happen to have the time. Thanks!
August 6th, 2008 at 10:25 am
@Sophie Lacera: I mean the people that I am talking about. A lot of people call themselves swingers so they can just sleep around with a lot of people and do not behave ethically. There are people out there who will stomp on the feelings of others just for the sake of having sex with someone. I should correct myself by saying that I KNOW there are ethical swingers out there, those are the people who are true swingers and respect relationships and love and community. So I do apologize for blanketing that entire community. I’m talking about people who have no regard for others and stray from their main relationships with no regard for other parties.
Hey I get naked on the net too, people judge me of being immoral.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Yeah… morals are a to each his own to me. I don’t judge what people do so long as it isn’t harming others. Malicious folk who get their jollies by hurting others? They can rot in hell
… lol. I know what you mean though, being a part of the community of swingers I see a**holes all the time that have no business doing what they are. A note to guys and girls out there who are engaged and think its ok to fool around as a last fling before marriage… it NOT ok! Also, if you are into boys and girls and your husband or wife doesn’t know it… grow some balls and tell them or suck it up. People make up a million and one excuses why its *ok* to run around on people, and it isn’t. The reason swingers get a bad rep is because of people like that. Fortunately I happen to be in a very open minded and fun relationship… we can have just as much with each other as with new people. We are open to ideas and experiences and we do it all together! We are monogamous in that everything is done with the other person. We chose not to involve ourselves with those who can’t man (or woman) up and talk to their significant others, because there is no excuse for it in my book. So those people who “stomp on others for the sake of having sex with someone,” they are morally in the wrong… yes… I agree. I don’t know why they do it, because I can’t comprehend that midset. I’d imagine from your post that you can’t either, hence asking… and you know what… in my opinion that probably means you are a good and moral person 
August 6th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
@Sophie Lacera: Thank you for that answer. That is how I always took the swinger community to be. That it was something that occurred together. Once there is one person straying and having multiple partners then it’s not cool, there is a degrading of the respect in the relationship.
I’m sure a lot of people would not consider me a good person because the person who I was involved with had a live-in girlfriend. I should have gotten out when I found out about it but I was a dumb ass in love. So maybe I’m getting what I deserve, and maybe I am dumb to think he could fall in love with me and maybe I am dumb to think he would not move on to the next piece of ass to fall into his lap. The one thing I won’t do anymore is accept scraps while I was trying to hold on to our bond and he’s out poking his dick in every hole he chooses.
August 6th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
@Big Butt Nicole: I talked to one of my friends this afternoon and she reminded me of something that I have been learning for the last year and a half. That is about forgiveness. She made it possible for me to see past my old anger patterns and take a look at my actions. I had to pull out a book of mine and start re-reading it to see what I am doing at present.
Ultimately, I forgive him for not being the way I wanted him to be. I thank all of the people involved who have finally made it possible to set me free. I’m free of my dependence on him and I am free of any expectation of him. I realize that both parties involved are people who do not really love themselves inside and they choose their actions based on that. I truly hope that one day he will learn to love himself because I know too well that he just don’t.